1 00:00:06,890 --> 00:00:07,808 Hi, Dad. 2 00:00:07,810 --> 00:00:08,809 Hi, Nicholas. 3 00:00:08,830 --> 00:00:13,230 Dad, can I have a dog like my friend Kenny P. Landers? I'm afraid not. Well, 4 00:00:13,230 --> 00:00:15,550 don't have to tell me now, you know. Why don't you think it over? 5 00:00:18,230 --> 00:00:21,430 Sorry, I just thought it over. The answer is still no, you can't have a 6 00:00:21,490 --> 00:00:23,050 There's enough mouths to feed as is. 7 00:00:23,310 --> 00:00:26,510 Yeah, but I can feed him, you know. And I'll always have someone to talk to and 8 00:00:26,510 --> 00:00:27,269 play with. 9 00:00:27,270 --> 00:00:29,330 Well, what's the matter with your brothers and sisters? 10 00:00:29,930 --> 00:00:31,170 They're always too busy. 11 00:00:31,850 --> 00:00:32,850 Oh. 12 00:00:33,730 --> 00:00:35,550 I know what we could get you for a pet. 13 00:00:36,030 --> 00:00:36,929 A plant. 14 00:00:36,930 --> 00:00:37,930 A what? 15 00:00:38,070 --> 00:00:39,069 A plant. 16 00:00:39,070 --> 00:00:42,250 You would be responsible for the growth of a living thing. You would have to 17 00:00:42,250 --> 00:00:45,410 give it plenty of food and water. See to it that it gets plenty of sunshine. 18 00:00:46,450 --> 00:00:47,450 Okay, Dad. 19 00:00:47,650 --> 00:00:49,370 Doesn't seem very exciting, though. 20 00:00:49,590 --> 00:00:54,110 Oh, it is. It's very exciting. That settles it. A plant for Nicholas. 21 00:00:54,410 --> 00:00:55,850 No more talk about the dog. 22 00:00:57,330 --> 00:00:59,510 Dad, can I give my plant a name? 23 00:00:59,750 --> 00:01:01,830 Absolutely. What name did you have in mind? 24 00:01:02,570 --> 00:01:03,570 Rover. 25 00:01:04,910 --> 00:01:05,910 Thank you. 26 00:02:30,230 --> 00:02:35,130 Oh, boy, are you as tired as you look? Yes, I am. Why does the day before 27 00:02:35,130 --> 00:02:37,170 vacation always have to be so hectic? 28 00:02:37,590 --> 00:02:38,670 Anything I can do? 29 00:02:38,930 --> 00:02:41,390 Yes, you could put me towards the bedroom and push. 30 00:02:41,930 --> 00:02:45,930 All I want is this nice, quiet little bed, and I'm just going to sleep until 31 00:02:45,930 --> 00:02:46,930 next Friday. 32 00:02:47,050 --> 00:02:49,290 Seven days of peace and tranquility. 33 00:02:50,930 --> 00:02:52,370 Why are you shaking your head? 34 00:02:54,110 --> 00:02:55,210 My dear wife. 35 00:02:55,450 --> 00:02:59,310 What? Your innocence is really refreshing. Yeah? 36 00:02:59,740 --> 00:03:01,940 You correlate vacation with relaxation. 37 00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:03,360 Is this not true? 38 00:03:03,460 --> 00:03:04,460 Not true. 39 00:03:04,740 --> 00:03:09,940 I mean, winter vacation, a la Bradford, also known as seven days in February, is 40 00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:14,200 free for all a frenzy. It's a madhouse of mayhem, mirth, and merriment. It's a 41 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:15,260 week not easily forgotten. 42 00:03:15,580 --> 00:03:18,900 But do not worry, dear wife, because it only lasts for seven days and then you 43 00:03:18,900 --> 00:03:21,180 can go back to work and relax again. 44 00:03:21,420 --> 00:03:24,660 No, but the house sounds quiet now. 45 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:26,420 Oh, merely a ploy. 46 00:03:26,660 --> 00:03:28,580 The calm before the storm. 47 00:03:29,900 --> 00:03:31,260 Well, thanks for the storm warning. 48 00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:32,760 My pleasure. 49 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:34,560 Anything else I can do for you? 50 00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:35,939 Mm -hmm. 51 00:03:35,940 --> 00:03:37,740 You could stop being so cheerful. 52 00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:39,360 All right. 53 00:03:43,300 --> 00:03:44,920 I don't like blind dates. 54 00:03:45,140 --> 00:03:48,440 Don't think of her as a blind date. I mean, think of her as a date you haven't 55 00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:49,440 seen yet. 56 00:03:50,020 --> 00:03:51,080 I don't see the difference. 57 00:03:51,340 --> 00:03:56,060 The difference is that this gorgeous girl will not go out with me unless I 58 00:03:56,060 --> 00:03:57,120 a date for her friend. 59 00:03:57,820 --> 00:03:58,820 Hey, Fred. 60 00:03:58,990 --> 00:04:01,850 And we haven't been friends too long, so I want to tell you a little story. No, 61 00:04:01,870 --> 00:04:05,810 I don't want to hear any stories. All I want to hear is you saying, yes, buddy, 62 00:04:06,010 --> 00:04:07,010 I'll do it. 63 00:04:07,610 --> 00:04:10,850 As I was saying, I'd like to tell you a little story about my last blind date. 64 00:04:12,230 --> 00:04:16,490 I don't remember her name, but for the purposes of this story, let's call her 65 00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:17,490 Moose. 66 00:04:18,850 --> 00:04:20,370 Moose was a lot taller than I was. 67 00:04:20,990 --> 00:04:23,690 Moose was probably a lot stronger than I was. 68 00:04:23,990 --> 00:04:28,490 And Moose was certainly a lot uglier than I was. Yes, but what about her 69 00:04:28,490 --> 00:04:29,490 personality? 70 00:04:30,750 --> 00:04:32,250 As refined as a cabbage. 71 00:04:33,290 --> 00:04:36,670 Look, we'll go to a nice, out -of -the -way, quiet place. 72 00:04:37,070 --> 00:04:40,290 You won't have to look at her. You won't have to talk to her. 73 00:04:40,750 --> 00:04:42,410 Just show up. 74 00:04:42,890 --> 00:04:43,890 Please. 75 00:04:44,710 --> 00:04:46,570 I hate to see a grown man beg. 76 00:04:46,810 --> 00:04:47,810 Then you'll do it? 77 00:04:47,830 --> 00:04:49,930 No, I just hate to see a grown man beg. 78 00:04:55,980 --> 00:04:56,980 What's going on? 79 00:04:57,440 --> 00:05:00,460 Sad night, can't tell. Yeah, there's a new disco in Old Town, Dad, and we got 80 00:05:00,460 --> 00:05:02,800 the buggy fever. Yeah. What does that mean? 81 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:06,900 I have no idea, Nicholas. Listen, girls, do me a favor, will you? 82 00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:10,060 Don't break your curfew. I'd hate to ground you on the first night of your 83 00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:11,860 vacation. Glad you brought that up, Dad. 84 00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:13,620 Did I bring something up? 85 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:17,320 Yeah, three different curfews make going out together very difficult. Yeah. 86 00:05:17,420 --> 00:05:18,840 Especially since mine is the earliest. 87 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:21,080 Oh, what did you have in mind? 88 00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:24,060 A new curfew. How about a sensible hour? Just for tonight. 89 00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:27,160 You know, you expect me to give you carte blanche to come home whenever you 90 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:30,380 want? I mean, if you had said to me, Dad, could you extend the curfew for one 91 00:05:30,380 --> 00:05:32,380 hour? She'll take it. I'll take it. Thanks, Dad. 92 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,560 See, I told you off the top of my head. 93 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:36,200 Boogie! 94 00:06:28,650 --> 00:06:32,110 Oh, my gosh, I've never seen such a collection of losers in my life. 95 00:06:33,470 --> 00:06:36,130 I think it's time for old Joanie to lunch. 96 00:06:36,370 --> 00:06:39,110 He fell like an owl. 97 00:06:40,210 --> 00:06:41,270 Oh, it's the stairs. 98 00:06:45,410 --> 00:06:50,650 Oh, Joanie, on a scale from one to ten, I think I'd give him my scorecard. 99 00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:53,710 I think it's kind of interesting. 100 00:07:20,010 --> 00:07:25,630 What do you say we get, uh... You say you get nice. 101 00:07:30,390 --> 00:07:31,390 What are you doing? 102 00:07:34,730 --> 00:07:38,810 Listen, Susan, believe me, whatever you do, you gotta push them away or they'll 103 00:07:38,810 --> 00:07:40,790 never stop bugging you. Oh, tricky, tricky. 104 00:07:45,450 --> 00:07:46,690 See anybody here you like? 105 00:07:46,990 --> 00:07:47,990 Him. 106 00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:03,400 Smile. Hi. 107 00:08:05,340 --> 00:08:08,460 Hi. Would you like to dance? 108 00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:09,680 Sure. 109 00:08:10,660 --> 00:08:11,920 Would you like to dance? 110 00:08:12,220 --> 00:08:13,220 Of course you would. 111 00:08:19,220 --> 00:08:20,900 Okay, now, where did you get these seeds? 112 00:08:21,220 --> 00:08:24,640 Kenny P. Leonard gave them to me. Oh, all right. Now, watch what I do. First 113 00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:29,060 all, it's very important that we moisten the soil. See that? See? 114 00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:31,320 Now, after we do that... 115 00:08:31,850 --> 00:08:33,470 have to give it a little fertilizer. 116 00:08:33,789 --> 00:08:34,789 What's fertilizer? 117 00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:38,210 It helps make the plant grow. 118 00:08:38,450 --> 00:08:39,750 Where does it come from? 119 00:08:40,669 --> 00:08:47,470 It comes, well, there's cows and there's horses and like people they 120 00:08:47,470 --> 00:08:49,970 eat and it's very nice. 121 00:08:50,910 --> 00:08:55,630 Oh, I get it. It's another one of those things I have to find out for myself. 122 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:20,760 Why am I here? 123 00:09:21,620 --> 00:09:25,260 I'm here because the human condition is here. 124 00:09:26,560 --> 00:09:29,800 Here is where lonely people come to be lonely together. 125 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:36,720 Here is where people come and act artificial in order to forget how 126 00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:37,720 they really are. 127 00:09:39,900 --> 00:09:40,980 Are you miserable? 128 00:09:42,020 --> 00:09:43,020 I'm sure. 129 00:09:43,540 --> 00:09:44,720 And so are you. 130 00:09:45,020 --> 00:09:47,360 Believe me, I can see it in your eyes. 131 00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:51,090 No, I'm not miserable. It's smoking. 132 00:09:51,650 --> 00:09:53,750 You see, the smoke makes you miserable. 133 00:09:54,150 --> 00:09:57,430 And what about the people who do the smoking? Why do you think they do that 134 00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:58,430 themselves? 135 00:09:59,350 --> 00:10:02,670 Because it makes them forget how hopeless everything is. 136 00:10:04,690 --> 00:10:06,590 That's what I hope to bring out in my play. 137 00:10:07,710 --> 00:10:08,970 I'm here doing research. 138 00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:11,550 You are writing a play? 139 00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:18,320 What is it about? 140 00:10:20,180 --> 00:10:24,120 Destruction and despair amidst the atmosphere of a singer's bar. 141 00:10:36,860 --> 00:10:37,860 Why's he stop? 142 00:10:38,560 --> 00:10:43,280 You know, usually a guy like me comes to a place like this and... 143 00:10:46,660 --> 00:10:47,680 Glad I met you, Susan. 144 00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:55,300 Oh, oh no. 145 00:10:55,840 --> 00:11:00,620 I, uh, was supposed to call a business associate earlier and it completely 146 00:11:00,620 --> 00:11:01,619 slipped my mind. 147 00:11:01,620 --> 00:11:03,020 Uh, do you mind? 148 00:11:03,260 --> 00:11:06,760 Uh, you don't disappear on me now, okay? I won't, I won't. 149 00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:08,740 I'll be right back. Okay. 150 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:12,400 So tell me, Howard, how long have you been a doctor? 151 00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:15,620 Uh, not long enough. That's why I'm... 152 00:11:15,850 --> 00:11:16,850 Still an intern. 153 00:11:18,550 --> 00:11:19,930 Well, where did you study medicine? 154 00:11:20,650 --> 00:11:21,650 Harvard. 155 00:11:22,190 --> 00:11:25,270 You know, most people, they like to think that I'm bragging. Why? 156 00:11:25,550 --> 00:11:28,250 If that's where you went to school, that's where you went to school, right? 157 00:11:29,570 --> 00:11:30,750 Where did you attend school? 158 00:11:31,790 --> 00:11:34,590 Sacramento High School. And nobody ever thinks I'm bragging. 159 00:11:37,370 --> 00:11:38,910 Hey, can I buy you a drink? 160 00:11:39,730 --> 00:11:41,930 Only if you will allow me to buy you one. 161 00:11:42,170 --> 00:11:43,170 What are you drinking? 162 00:11:43,430 --> 00:11:44,430 Ginger ale. 163 00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:46,480 Well, I'm driving. 164 00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:52,140 Come in. 165 00:11:54,420 --> 00:11:55,780 Hi. Well, 166 00:11:57,220 --> 00:11:59,160 I'm doomed. 167 00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:03,420 Oh, as long as there's nothing important, I'll go back to study, okay? 168 00:12:03,780 --> 00:12:05,540 No, really, Mary, this is serious. 169 00:12:05,940 --> 00:12:08,060 Big Mouth Bradford's done it again. 170 00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:10,280 Okay, go. 171 00:12:10,700 --> 00:12:11,700 All right. 172 00:12:11,950 --> 00:12:15,150 You remember I told you about Linda Imes, that transfer student from Peoria? 173 00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:18,230 I've been dying to go out with her, so I've been holding my breath and waiting 174 00:12:18,230 --> 00:12:19,230 for the right moment. 175 00:12:19,370 --> 00:12:22,630 So finally the right moment came. So we were sitting there talking at lunch, and 176 00:12:22,630 --> 00:12:25,310 she said that she liked Fleetwood Mac and that she wanted to go to the concert 177 00:12:25,310 --> 00:12:26,310 next week. 178 00:12:26,330 --> 00:12:28,930 So I said, hey, great, no problem. I just happen to have two tickets. 179 00:12:29,890 --> 00:12:32,390 Lucky you. That concert I heard was sold out weeks ago. 180 00:12:32,610 --> 00:12:33,610 Yeah, so did I. 181 00:12:34,410 --> 00:12:35,950 I got to the box office today. 182 00:12:36,390 --> 00:12:37,390 Oh. 183 00:12:37,550 --> 00:12:39,390 Well, you'll just have to tell her the truth, huh? 184 00:12:39,710 --> 00:12:41,990 Mary, that's not the type of advice I'm looking for. 185 00:12:42,230 --> 00:12:43,230 Well, I'm sorry. 186 00:12:43,710 --> 00:12:45,550 Look, she's bound to understand, really. 187 00:12:47,210 --> 00:12:48,210 Wait a second. 188 00:12:48,230 --> 00:12:49,009 You got an idea? 189 00:12:49,010 --> 00:12:50,010 I have an idea. 190 00:12:51,190 --> 00:12:53,350 KRLJ is giving away free tickets to the concert. 191 00:12:53,590 --> 00:12:57,050 Every few hours, you know, the first person to call in and identify the song 192 00:12:57,050 --> 00:12:58,390 wins two free tickets. 193 00:12:58,670 --> 00:13:01,030 Yeah, but Mary, half of Sacramento's got to be trying to call. 194 00:13:01,370 --> 00:13:04,650 Yes, Tommy, but half of Sacramento does not have a date with Linda Imes. 195 00:13:31,270 --> 00:13:32,270 Go away. 196 00:13:33,830 --> 00:13:35,070 It's okay with me. Fine. 197 00:13:36,030 --> 00:13:37,030 Weird. 198 00:13:38,910 --> 00:13:40,250 Who was that girl? 199 00:13:40,530 --> 00:13:42,070 Oh, that was my sister, Joni. 200 00:13:43,750 --> 00:13:46,790 Tell me, Howard, what type of medicine will you be practicing? 201 00:13:47,170 --> 00:13:49,110 Oh, I won't be practicing medicine. 202 00:13:49,450 --> 00:13:50,930 I hope to go into research. 203 00:13:51,250 --> 00:13:53,930 As a matter of fact, I'm waiting to hear from Stanford now. 204 00:13:54,450 --> 00:13:56,590 I've applied for a grant in genetic research. 205 00:13:58,830 --> 00:14:02,370 Hi, Nancy. I'd like you to meet Michael Slade, a stockbroker. Don't tell me. 206 00:14:02,750 --> 00:14:03,709 Let me guess. 207 00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:04,710 Another sister. 208 00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:07,090 Susan, this is Howard. 209 00:14:07,470 --> 00:14:08,470 Howard's a doctor. 210 00:14:08,550 --> 00:14:11,890 Oh, a doctor. Hey, Doc. Hey, Doc. It really hurts when I do that. 211 00:14:14,310 --> 00:14:15,730 Your line is, then don't do that. 212 00:14:16,350 --> 00:14:17,350 I know. 213 00:14:18,850 --> 00:14:20,390 Um, I'll catch you at home. 214 00:14:22,890 --> 00:14:23,890 Bye, Doc. 215 00:14:26,330 --> 00:14:27,610 I can't take her anywhere. 216 00:14:33,260 --> 00:14:34,640 I mentioned he's a playwright? 217 00:14:34,860 --> 00:14:35,860 Three times. 218 00:14:36,820 --> 00:14:41,200 You sound like you aren't interested, Susan. I'm not, Joanie. The only thing 219 00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:44,660 interested in right now is a certain stockbroker who's got blonde hair, blue 220 00:14:44,660 --> 00:14:46,300 eyes, and a definite box. 221 00:14:48,020 --> 00:14:49,020 Hiya. 222 00:14:54,660 --> 00:15:00,220 You busted curfew, and where's your coat? 223 00:15:02,540 --> 00:15:05,120 See, I didn't bring it because I didn't want to cover up the dress, you know. 224 00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:11,440 Oh, oh, Vanity, thy name is a little bit... Sounds like she's got herself a 225 00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:15,300 cold. Oh, and on the first day of vacation, too. 226 00:15:15,500 --> 00:15:16,500 Oh, a baby. 227 00:15:17,060 --> 00:15:18,060 It's about time. 228 00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:19,860 Okay, let's hear it. Was he nice? 229 00:15:20,780 --> 00:15:21,780 Very. 230 00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:23,300 Well, did you have a good time? 231 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:25,880 Terrific. 232 00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:29,400 If he's so wonderful, Nancy, why the long face? 233 00:15:31,790 --> 00:15:32,850 Because it can never be. 234 00:15:34,590 --> 00:15:36,210 She sounds just like Josh. 235 00:15:41,310 --> 00:15:43,650 One night down, six to go. 236 00:15:48,810 --> 00:15:50,230 You guys just don't understand. 237 00:15:51,010 --> 00:15:53,570 Nancy, we can't help you unless we know what the problem is. 238 00:15:54,330 --> 00:15:57,050 Okay. You'd find out eventually anyway. 239 00:15:59,050 --> 00:16:00,190 His name is Dr. 240 00:16:00,410 --> 00:16:01,410 Stein. 241 00:16:01,680 --> 00:16:04,040 And he's an intern at the Star of David Hospital. 242 00:16:04,860 --> 00:16:05,860 So? 243 00:16:06,140 --> 00:16:08,360 So, what does that mean? 244 00:16:08,620 --> 00:16:10,000 So he doesn't make house calls. 245 00:16:11,660 --> 00:16:12,660 Now it's Jewish. 246 00:16:15,940 --> 00:16:17,880 Wait a second. I think I missed the problem. 247 00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:22,560 Mary, Howard's the type of guy I could really fall for. 248 00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:26,800 I mean, really fall for. 249 00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:30,600 Sweet. 250 00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:32,120 He's nice looking. 251 00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:35,460 Oh, he cares so much about people. 252 00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:40,920 He's got the kind of future I could really be a part of. If only he 253 00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:42,060 only what, Nancy? 254 00:16:42,420 --> 00:16:45,180 So Howard's Jewish. Would it be any different if he wasn't? 255 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:51,660 Nancy, you're not thinking of not seeing Howard because... Joanie. 256 00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:56,090 We come from two different worlds. They're bound to conflict sooner or 257 00:16:56,150 --> 00:16:58,090 You know that. Nancy, that is garbage. 258 00:16:58,390 --> 00:17:02,030 I mean, the only conflict right now is the one between your heart and your 259 00:17:03,810 --> 00:17:09,349 Look, I know that it's hard for you right now, but Nancy, before you do 260 00:17:09,349 --> 00:17:14,770 that you're going to regret, like running off and joining a kibbutz or 261 00:17:14,770 --> 00:17:20,089 a hemlock or changing boyfriends, why don't you stop and think about it, okay? 262 00:17:24,820 --> 00:17:25,820 Mary, I have. 263 00:17:32,460 --> 00:17:33,460 Coming. 264 00:17:37,660 --> 00:17:38,940 Hi. The answer's still no. 265 00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:42,780 You see this? This is my hand over my heart. Now I give you my solemn word, 266 00:17:42,780 --> 00:17:44,540 not going to stop bothering you till you give in. 267 00:17:44,780 --> 00:17:47,540 And I give you my solemn word that I won't give in. All right, listen. 268 00:17:48,140 --> 00:17:49,140 Can you be bought? 269 00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:53,560 Freddie, let me tell you a story. No, no, no. I've heard all about movies. 270 00:17:53,900 --> 00:17:55,000 No, I want to tell you about Harpo. 271 00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:59,300 Harpo? When I first met Harpo, I said hello, and Harpo was stuck for an 272 00:17:59,500 --> 00:18:00,560 Didn't have much to say, huh? 273 00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:03,160 Not as much as my next blind date, Mindy the Mouth. 274 00:18:03,540 --> 00:18:07,400 Mindy was 5 '2", and her mouth was 4 '8", and she never stopped using it. How 275 00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:09,960 many of these girls have you gone out with? About a dozen. All right, well, 276 00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:12,720 13's got to be right. I mean, percentages, right? 277 00:18:13,140 --> 00:18:14,400 Wrong, Fred. Bye -bye. 278 00:18:15,300 --> 00:18:16,300 All right. 279 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:18,240 Break my heart. See if I care. 280 00:18:22,060 --> 00:18:27,900 telling you the truth i really am sick have i ever lied to you besides that 281 00:18:27,900 --> 00:18:34,320 besides that time too okay so i've lied to you before but this time i really 282 00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:38,580 mean it wait a minute listen 283 00:18:38,580 --> 00:18:45,420 did you hear that okay now do 284 00:18:45,420 --> 00:18:48,540 people who aren't sick do that kind of thing i need the phone 285 00:18:49,450 --> 00:18:52,630 Hey, it's Bobby. He doesn't believe I'm sick. You tell him. She's sick. She's 286 00:18:52,630 --> 00:18:55,130 sick. That was really convincing. 287 00:19:03,390 --> 00:19:04,390 I'm doomed. 288 00:19:13,010 --> 00:19:17,750 Oh, hi. I'm Michael Slade. I'm here for Susan. We have a date tonight. 289 00:19:18,140 --> 00:19:20,420 Oh, yes, of course. Come right in. Thank you. 290 00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:24,200 Susan! I read your comments all the time, Mr. Bradford. 291 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:28,320 I enjoy most of them, especially the ones about the fiscal policy. 292 00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:29,359 Oh, really? 293 00:19:29,360 --> 00:19:30,480 Thanks. Well, what do you do? 294 00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:32,440 I'm a stockbroker at the Layton Company. 295 00:19:32,660 --> 00:19:36,140 Oh, a stockbroker. Anytime I can be of service. Oh, no, that's nice of you. 296 00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:39,600 Thank you. It's just that by the time I get through paying all the bills around 297 00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:41,540 here, there's no money left to invest, believe me. 298 00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:46,940 Good evening, Michael. Good evening, Susan. 299 00:19:49,389 --> 00:19:50,389 Father. 300 00:19:50,650 --> 00:19:51,650 Hello, daughter. 301 00:19:53,130 --> 00:19:55,310 Michael, I do hope we're not late for the symphony. 302 00:19:56,110 --> 00:19:57,110 For the what? 303 00:19:57,550 --> 00:20:00,690 Why, for the symphony, Father. You know Brahms has always been my favorite. 304 00:20:01,170 --> 00:20:04,850 Oh, that's right. I forgot. It slipped my mind. 305 00:20:07,270 --> 00:20:08,810 Nice to have met you, Mr. Bradford. 306 00:20:09,530 --> 00:20:10,530 Shall we? 307 00:20:20,750 --> 00:20:22,210 Did you see that? Who is that girl? 308 00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:23,430 It was your daughter, Susan. 309 00:20:23,650 --> 00:20:25,910 Oh, no, no, that's not Susan. I know Susan. 310 00:20:26,430 --> 00:20:27,430 That's an imposter. 311 00:20:37,350 --> 00:20:38,350 Jody around? 312 00:20:38,890 --> 00:20:40,290 Oh, uh, yes. 313 00:20:41,250 --> 00:20:42,250 Won't you come in? 314 00:20:57,260 --> 00:20:58,620 I hear that you're a playwright. 315 00:21:01,780 --> 00:21:06,360 Did you ever write anything that I may have seen? 316 00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:14,720 Hi, 317 00:21:15,660 --> 00:21:16,660 Josh. 318 00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:19,480 Dad, Abby. 319 00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:22,499 Bye, Joe. 320 00:21:22,500 --> 00:21:23,500 Bye, Josh. 321 00:21:23,900 --> 00:21:25,080 Great talking to you. 322 00:21:25,500 --> 00:21:27,580 What was that? Did you see that guy? 323 00:21:31,980 --> 00:21:34,100 This house is going off the deep end. 324 00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:39,820 Oh, there's the doorbell. Yes, another surprise. 325 00:21:40,060 --> 00:21:43,360 Would you like me to get it? No, no, no, let me get it. It's becoming fun. Okay, 326 00:21:43,360 --> 00:21:44,360 then. 327 00:21:46,940 --> 00:21:48,800 Hello, I'm Dr. Stein. 328 00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:50,720 Oh, yes, of course. 329 00:21:51,360 --> 00:21:52,360 Come in. 330 00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:56,680 It's busy again. I'm doomed. 331 00:22:01,020 --> 00:22:04,200 Don't mind him. That's my son. He's lost his mind. Please step in. 332 00:22:07,260 --> 00:22:11,100 You are Mr. Bradford and Mrs. Bradford? Yes, we are. 333 00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:13,020 You'll have to excuse me. 334 00:22:13,660 --> 00:22:15,380 Everything's been crazy around here today. 335 00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:19,600 Nancy! 336 00:22:22,980 --> 00:22:24,440 So you're a doctor. 337 00:22:25,570 --> 00:22:27,990 You know, it hurts me when I go like this. 338 00:22:32,030 --> 00:22:35,990 We have this friend, Dr. Maxwell, and he always laughs when I do that. That's 339 00:22:35,990 --> 00:22:38,510 his favorite joke. He thinks it's so funny. 340 00:22:42,330 --> 00:22:43,550 Hi, Howard. Hi, Nance. 341 00:22:43,750 --> 00:22:44,750 Have you met everyone? 342 00:22:45,170 --> 00:22:46,170 Sure did. 343 00:22:47,090 --> 00:22:49,690 Well, we'll be seeing you real soon, Mrs. 344 00:22:49,890 --> 00:22:51,350 Bradford, Mr. Bradford. Bye. 345 00:22:58,380 --> 00:22:59,380 He seemed very nice. 346 00:22:59,500 --> 00:23:00,840 Yes, well, at least he could talk. 347 00:23:02,140 --> 00:23:05,080 Well, Elizabeth is sick and Mary's studying, so congratulations. 348 00:23:05,540 --> 00:23:06,540 Oh, for what? 349 00:23:06,660 --> 00:23:07,920 You've run out of daughters. 350 00:23:08,260 --> 00:23:09,239 Oh, that's right. 351 00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:12,680 Well, at last we'll have some peace and quiet. 352 00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:26,860 Nicholas, what do you think? Look, look, Rover is actually sprouting. Your old 353 00:23:26,860 --> 00:23:28,500 man has a green thumb after all. 354 00:23:28,700 --> 00:23:29,720 Good work, Tom. 355 00:23:30,060 --> 00:23:32,900 Thanks. I knew you'd appreciate it. What? Tom? 356 00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:35,880 What is the Tom business, anyway? 357 00:23:36,220 --> 00:23:39,060 Kenny P. Lathers calls his dad by his first name. 358 00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:41,740 There's that name again. Who is this kid, anyway? 359 00:23:42,100 --> 00:23:43,580 You know, my friend with the dog. 360 00:23:44,100 --> 00:23:48,340 Oh, Nicholas, I thought we agreed that we wouldn't talk about that dog anymore. 361 00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:50,080 We'd just concentrate on Rover. 362 00:23:50,770 --> 00:23:55,890 Yeah, but a plant can't do nothing. A dog can roll over, do tricks, and you 363 00:23:55,890 --> 00:24:00,570 take it for a walk. A plant just... No, no, Nicholas. A lot of people think that 364 00:24:00,570 --> 00:24:02,010 they can actually talk to their plants. 365 00:24:02,850 --> 00:24:04,910 You mean they can understand what I'm saying? 366 00:24:05,490 --> 00:24:06,830 That's what a lot of people think. 367 00:24:07,670 --> 00:24:09,730 Robert, can you understand what I'm saying? 368 00:24:13,090 --> 00:24:14,610 Well, what did he say? 369 00:24:15,170 --> 00:24:16,770 He said he wants a dog. 370 00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:28,460 finite death in the center of harmony. We equivocate to regain 371 00:24:28,460 --> 00:24:34,160 equilibrium. Oh, there is dreadful silence in the groin of harmony. 372 00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:38,940 We do not communicate. We equivocate. We die! 373 00:24:40,100 --> 00:24:41,100 Equivocating! 374 00:24:45,540 --> 00:24:47,020 It's really powerful. 375 00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:50,740 The whole theme of... 376 00:24:51,699 --> 00:24:52,699 Equivocation. 377 00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:54,920 And death. 378 00:24:57,320 --> 00:24:59,480 A lot of girls would laugh at me bringing them here. 379 00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:03,000 I'm not laughing. 380 00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:11,420 You know, Joanie, if I would ever let myself be happy, which I wouldn't, but 381 00:25:11,420 --> 00:25:15,940 I would, I could really be happy with a girl like you. 382 00:25:25,010 --> 00:25:26,890 Josh, would you let me read your play? 383 00:25:27,570 --> 00:25:33,830 I mean, I know you'd rather not, but it's really important to me. 384 00:25:35,530 --> 00:25:36,750 You're important to me. 385 00:25:38,410 --> 00:25:44,610 And I have a feeling that your play is you. 386 00:25:47,870 --> 00:25:51,070 It's called Never Together Forever. 387 00:25:53,870 --> 00:25:55,550 It's about a man's inability to love. 388 00:26:03,930 --> 00:26:05,230 Did you like the Brahms? 389 00:26:05,910 --> 00:26:06,910 No. 390 00:26:07,090 --> 00:26:08,090 I'm bored. 391 00:26:08,750 --> 00:26:14,190 Yeah, that makes two of us. It's my business for me to be seen here. You 392 00:26:14,190 --> 00:26:15,190 make some good contacts. 393 00:26:16,270 --> 00:26:19,630 Michael! Michael, my boy, good to see you. Ryan's oil money. 394 00:26:21,030 --> 00:26:22,030 Hello, Michael. 395 00:26:22,170 --> 00:26:23,470 You remember my wife? 396 00:26:24,530 --> 00:26:26,830 Well, it's a marvelous evening, isn't it? 397 00:26:28,190 --> 00:26:30,990 Well, Michael, who's your little friend? 398 00:26:32,110 --> 00:26:38,230 Oh, why, this is... Susan Bradford. Of the publishing Bradfords. Oh, really? 399 00:26:38,470 --> 00:26:40,890 And which publications are those, my dear? 400 00:26:41,110 --> 00:26:43,390 Oh, you've heard of the Sacramento Register, of course. 401 00:26:43,690 --> 00:26:44,830 Of course, of course. 402 00:26:46,410 --> 00:26:50,010 A lot of doctors are content to spend the rest of their lives fixing noses and 403 00:26:50,010 --> 00:26:51,590 catering to rich hypochondriacs. 404 00:26:52,110 --> 00:26:53,110 But not you. 405 00:26:54,070 --> 00:26:55,590 You're going to change the world, right? 406 00:26:56,950 --> 00:26:57,950 Maybe. 407 00:26:58,970 --> 00:27:01,250 But right now my world seems pretty wonderful. 408 00:27:04,470 --> 00:27:06,850 Howard, may I ask you a question? 409 00:27:07,130 --> 00:27:08,130 Sure. 410 00:27:10,010 --> 00:27:12,110 Are you a religious man? 411 00:27:15,530 --> 00:27:16,530 What brought this on? 412 00:27:17,450 --> 00:27:20,030 Come on. You know. No, I don't. 413 00:27:20,430 --> 00:27:22,630 Please, Howard. I mean, this is important to me. 414 00:27:25,110 --> 00:27:30,410 Well, I suppose that deep down inside, I believe in God and miracles. 415 00:27:31,550 --> 00:27:35,370 It was something that I was brought up on. It's not something that is easily 416 00:27:35,370 --> 00:27:36,370 dismissed. 417 00:27:38,710 --> 00:27:40,990 Why all the questions? 418 00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:45,840 How's your pastrami? 419 00:27:46,100 --> 00:27:49,300 Clean. Good. I'll have that in rye with a caniche and a cream soda. 420 00:27:49,940 --> 00:27:52,000 I'll have the corned beef on white with mayo. 421 00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:57,740 Why don't you change the white to rye and the mayo to mustard? 422 00:27:58,480 --> 00:27:59,520 Want something to drink? 423 00:28:00,120 --> 00:28:02,040 Milk? Wrong again, honey. 424 00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:04,180 Take that two cream sodas. 425 00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:07,160 I'm afraid I'm not very good at this. 426 00:28:07,460 --> 00:28:08,459 You'll learn. 427 00:28:08,460 --> 00:28:09,459 You'll learn. 428 00:28:09,460 --> 00:28:10,460 I hope so. 429 00:28:13,310 --> 00:28:17,450 It's hard enough handling one daughter in love, but handling three at one time, 430 00:28:17,510 --> 00:28:18,890 I tell you, that is murder. 431 00:28:19,550 --> 00:28:20,710 Hey, what's this? 432 00:28:21,250 --> 00:28:22,930 What? Look at this. 433 00:28:23,370 --> 00:28:25,990 Oh, my gosh. You know what that is? It's a parachute. 434 00:28:26,350 --> 00:28:27,350 A parachute? 435 00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:31,420 Hey, since when did members of the press corps have parachutes? Oh, well, you 436 00:28:31,420 --> 00:28:33,540 know, in case we had to drop a preposition. 437 00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:35,000 No, 438 00:28:35,140 --> 00:28:38,640 actually, this belonged to Staff Sergeant David Plaut. In those days in 439 00:28:38,640 --> 00:28:41,820 Army, they used to use pure silk to make parachutes, and Plaut told me he was 440 00:28:41,820 --> 00:28:44,740 going to use the material for his daughter's wedding dress. So I said, 441 00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:45,880 Plaut, I got a great idea. 442 00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:49,800 I'll trade you one of the Army's typewriters, and you give me one of the 443 00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:52,140 parachutes. So we did it. What did the Army get? 444 00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:53,760 Two years out of our lives. 445 00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:57,080 You know, it's a funny thing, though, isn't it? 446 00:28:57,320 --> 00:28:59,520 I mean, that we should find this after all these years. 447 00:29:00,100 --> 00:29:01,620 I wonder if that could be an omen. 448 00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:04,060 I have an announcement to make. 449 00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:05,560 Well, announce. 450 00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:09,580 Dad, Abby, I'm in love. 451 00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:12,240 Nancy, who's the lucky guy? 452 00:29:13,100 --> 00:29:14,540 Howard. That's great. 453 00:29:15,740 --> 00:29:16,860 The omen. 454 00:29:17,380 --> 00:29:19,180 And I'm hoping to become engaged to him. 455 00:29:19,740 --> 00:29:21,340 Nancy. Wait, there's more. 456 00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:23,000 More? 457 00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:29,440 I was thinking in order to form a more harmonious relationship, I'm planning to 458 00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:30,440 convert to Judaism. 459 00:29:56,399 --> 00:29:59,660 Oh, excuse me. Could you tell me where I could find the rabbi, please? 460 00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:01,160 I'm Rabbi Wise. 461 00:30:01,940 --> 00:30:02,940 You're the rabbi? 462 00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:06,580 There are old rabbis and there are young rabbis. 463 00:30:06,780 --> 00:30:07,780 What can I do for you? 464 00:30:12,740 --> 00:30:14,000 Well, why don't we start with your name? 465 00:30:14,300 --> 00:30:15,300 Oh, I'm sorry. 466 00:30:16,100 --> 00:30:18,060 Nancy. Nancy Bradford. 467 00:30:18,900 --> 00:30:20,540 Would you like to talk about something, Nancy? 468 00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:23,900 I want to convert. 469 00:30:26,209 --> 00:30:28,250 Well, why don't we sit down a minute? 470 00:30:28,830 --> 00:30:29,830 Okay. 471 00:30:34,050 --> 00:30:39,750 So, Nancy, tell me, why would you like to adopt our religion? 472 00:30:40,430 --> 00:30:42,330 Well, I think it's a very interesting religion. 473 00:30:44,070 --> 00:30:45,470 Well, did you study it in school? 474 00:30:47,050 --> 00:30:48,050 No. 475 00:30:48,950 --> 00:30:50,490 But I saw Fiddler on the Roof. 476 00:30:51,550 --> 00:30:53,090 Good movie, Fiddler on the Roof. 477 00:30:58,090 --> 00:30:59,690 Why don't you tell me what the real reason is? 478 00:31:02,450 --> 00:31:04,170 Well, I met this Jewish boy. 479 00:31:07,050 --> 00:31:08,050 Rabbi. 480 00:31:09,110 --> 00:31:10,690 Rabbi, is that the wrong reason? 481 00:31:11,670 --> 00:31:12,670 The wrong reason? 482 00:31:14,370 --> 00:31:16,390 I've heard some reasons that are better than others. 483 00:31:17,010 --> 00:31:21,590 But I don't think there is a wrong reason if you're sincere and your 484 00:31:21,590 --> 00:31:22,590 open. 485 00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:27,020 I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to give you a book of Jewish laws 486 00:31:27,020 --> 00:31:28,019 and traditions. 487 00:31:28,020 --> 00:31:30,860 And I'd like to suggest that you take another look at the Old Testament. 488 00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:33,120 Do some studying and some thinking. 489 00:31:34,780 --> 00:31:36,460 And come on back and we'll talk some more. 490 00:31:36,980 --> 00:31:37,980 Okay? 491 00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:39,280 Okay. 492 00:31:39,540 --> 00:31:40,540 Thank you. 493 00:31:42,020 --> 00:31:43,680 Look, why are you doing this to me? 494 00:31:45,080 --> 00:31:46,160 Well, it is a big deal. 495 00:31:47,180 --> 00:31:49,620 Hey, look, Fred, my dad's waiting outside. I've got to go, all right? 496 00:31:50,900 --> 00:31:51,900 What do you mean he's not? 497 00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:54,840 Look where. 498 00:32:04,280 --> 00:32:06,940 Will you get out of that phone booth? I don't like having my apartment under 499 00:32:06,940 --> 00:32:07,940 surveillance. 500 00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:11,219 All right. 501 00:32:11,220 --> 00:32:12,220 All right. 502 00:32:12,340 --> 00:32:13,340 Yes, Fred. 503 00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:14,520 Yes, you win. 504 00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:15,920 Yes, I crack. 505 00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:18,120 Call off the bloodhounds. Thank you. 506 00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:20,000 I'll go. I'll go. 507 00:32:32,870 --> 00:32:34,730 Yes. You're welcome, friend. 508 00:32:41,790 --> 00:32:43,750 What's this, ravioli soup? 509 00:32:44,530 --> 00:32:47,990 No, it's matzo ball soup, and it's a Jewish delicacy. 510 00:32:49,010 --> 00:32:50,370 My matzo balls. 511 00:32:57,870 --> 00:32:59,490 They didn't get too cold. 512 00:33:03,630 --> 00:33:05,030 You think so, huh? Yeah, I do. 513 00:33:06,250 --> 00:33:08,990 Is this whole dinner going to be Jewish delicacies? 514 00:33:09,230 --> 00:33:09,869 Uh -huh. 515 00:33:09,870 --> 00:33:15,370 We're going to have chopped liver, Bubba's gefilte fish, pickled herring, 516 00:33:15,370 --> 00:33:17,410 lean corned beef on rye. 517 00:33:18,030 --> 00:33:19,390 And do me a favor, Elizabeth. 518 00:33:20,050 --> 00:33:21,050 Don't ask for mayonnaise. 519 00:33:21,750 --> 00:33:23,790 Aren't Jody and Susan's boyfriends coming, too? 520 00:33:24,010 --> 00:33:27,210 So? Well, don't you think they're going to feel like they're in the wrong house 521 00:33:27,210 --> 00:33:29,630 or maybe the Twilight Zone? 522 00:33:30,590 --> 00:33:34,090 Why? People who eat in Italian restaurants aren't always Italian. 523 00:33:34,990 --> 00:33:37,910 Well, don't take this personally, but I think I'm going to skip dinner. 524 00:33:38,990 --> 00:33:39,990 Bad cold. 525 00:33:43,190 --> 00:33:46,290 Yeah, that liver must have come from the biggest chicken ever. 526 00:33:47,770 --> 00:33:48,930 What are you talking about? 527 00:33:49,190 --> 00:33:52,050 Well, even I know that chopped liver is made with chicken liver. 528 00:34:00,940 --> 00:34:01,940 stuff, Nancy. 529 00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:05,180 Thanks, Joanie. Yeah, great stuff, Nancy. 530 00:34:06,080 --> 00:34:08,300 It's real exotic. 531 00:34:10,159 --> 00:34:14,900 Must have spent hours on it. No, no, no. Just a little something I threw 532 00:34:14,900 --> 00:34:15,900 together. 533 00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:35,340 I'm telling you, Howard, you can't start too early. Now, we got a lot of doctors 534 00:34:35,340 --> 00:34:36,340 that can bet with us. 535 00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:37,600 You come and see me. 536 00:34:37,920 --> 00:34:40,940 I'll have you on the golf course three afternoons out of the week. I don't play 537 00:34:40,940 --> 00:34:44,120 golf. Why don't you stop hassling the doctor? Can't you see he's not into 538 00:34:45,420 --> 00:34:46,420 Are you talking to me? 539 00:34:47,020 --> 00:34:48,860 Are there any other stock pushers in the room? 540 00:34:51,739 --> 00:34:54,300 Boy, this is the best kefir fish I've ever had. 541 00:34:54,900 --> 00:34:55,759 Me too. 542 00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:56,760 Can I have some ketchup? 543 00:34:58,160 --> 00:35:01,660 You know, there are doctors that don't play golf. 544 00:35:02,390 --> 00:35:05,630 Name three. Well, there are people who are more concerned with human suffering 545 00:35:05,630 --> 00:35:08,570 than with making a buck. Listen, I got nothing against human suffering, but 546 00:35:08,570 --> 00:35:09,710 what's wrong with making a buck, huh? 547 00:35:10,630 --> 00:35:12,970 Uh, Nancy, the table looks lovely. 548 00:35:13,610 --> 00:35:14,610 Excuse me, Abby. 549 00:35:14,630 --> 00:35:17,850 Listen, what if I were to tell you that in a few short weeks a product is going 550 00:35:17,850 --> 00:35:19,950 to hit the market which is going to go right through the roof? 551 00:35:20,350 --> 00:35:22,190 And this baby is a sure thing. 552 00:35:22,890 --> 00:35:26,430 Nothing is sure, J .P. We're not even sure the sun's going to rise tomorrow. 553 00:35:26,770 --> 00:35:27,890 Oh, yeah, I'll take that action. 554 00:35:28,510 --> 00:35:30,490 Listen, they're coming out with a brand new product. 555 00:35:30,830 --> 00:35:31,850 Gourmet dog food. 556 00:35:36,339 --> 00:35:37,339 Oh, come on. 557 00:35:38,580 --> 00:35:40,980 Come on, now, who's going to invest money in something like that? 558 00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:45,340 Pickled herring? Oh, no, please, that stuff is terrible. It's going to open at 559 00:35:45,340 --> 00:35:49,400 three, and it's going to go right to 25 in no time at all. Who cares? 560 00:35:51,740 --> 00:35:53,200 Josh, you haven't even touched your fish. 561 00:35:53,980 --> 00:35:56,720 Come on, Joanie, you know how I feel about eating dead things. 562 00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:04,440 I can get you in on the ground floor. 563 00:36:04,740 --> 00:36:08,060 You know what I think? I think it's a crime that medical research is begging 564 00:36:08,060 --> 00:36:10,460 dollars and you're pushing dog food. That's what I think. 565 00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:13,540 Money, money, money. Have you ever really looked at it closely? 566 00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:14,959 Felt it? 567 00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:15,759 Smelled it? 568 00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:16,760 It stinks! 569 00:36:18,420 --> 00:36:19,420 Of human sweat. 570 00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:22,100 Anxiety, ulcers, and heart attacks. 571 00:36:25,180 --> 00:36:27,220 Uh, well, would anyone like some more wine? 572 00:36:27,420 --> 00:36:29,320 No, no, no. With this rich food, it would be awful for the liver. 573 00:36:29,580 --> 00:36:30,840 Let me tell you a new story. 574 00:36:32,430 --> 00:36:36,030 Now, my father's business partner is a millionaire several times over. 575 00:36:38,390 --> 00:36:40,590 About a month ago, he was driving through a toll booth. 576 00:36:40,850 --> 00:36:43,990 He tossed his quarter at the machine, the quarter mist machine. 577 00:36:44,910 --> 00:36:47,470 So he opens the door and bends down to try to pick it up. 578 00:36:48,050 --> 00:36:49,350 Only he forgot one thing. 579 00:36:49,910 --> 00:36:53,170 His seatbelt was on, and it was on tight. And you know what he got for that 580 00:36:53,170 --> 00:36:54,170 lousy quarter? 581 00:36:54,870 --> 00:36:56,930 Double hernia. Now, that's interesting. 582 00:36:57,210 --> 00:36:58,610 Was it an inguinal hernia? 583 00:36:59,510 --> 00:37:01,830 Well, a hernia's a hernia, but you get my point. 584 00:37:02,270 --> 00:37:03,270 Frankly, no. 585 00:37:03,790 --> 00:37:07,890 It's all over lousy money. It is enough to make you want to throw up. 586 00:37:08,890 --> 00:37:13,070 An inguinal hernia is distinctly different from a hiatal hernia. A hiatal 587 00:37:13,070 --> 00:37:16,490 is aggravated by bad eating habits. You guys with your hernias and your 588 00:37:16,490 --> 00:37:18,910 capitalism, I tell you, it makes me sick. Sick, you're depressing. 589 00:37:19,170 --> 00:37:20,330 I am depressing, that's right. 590 00:37:20,650 --> 00:37:24,670 Depression is truth. Depression is the chemistry between neurosis that 591 00:37:24,670 --> 00:37:25,890 responds to vomit. 592 00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:48,280 Hi, Josh. 593 00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:51,160 I read your play. 594 00:37:53,280 --> 00:37:54,280 Wow. 595 00:37:54,820 --> 00:37:57,040 I mean, I really got into it, you know. 596 00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:00,580 It's just that I... It's just that what? 597 00:38:02,300 --> 00:38:06,460 It's just that I think maybe in the beginning that the audience will have a 598 00:38:06,460 --> 00:38:09,640 time having sympathy with you. So what? Who cares about the audience? 599 00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:12,840 I mean, either they like it or they don't, right? 600 00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:16,400 Come on, don't get defensive. I'm just trying to give you some constructive 601 00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:17,860 criticism, that's all. Oh, great. 602 00:38:18,160 --> 00:38:20,340 Now you're giving me euphemisms from grade school. 603 00:38:21,080 --> 00:38:22,280 Shallow, Joanie, really shallow. 604 00:38:23,960 --> 00:38:24,960 Oh, boy. 605 00:38:26,180 --> 00:38:27,180 Shallow. 606 00:38:28,200 --> 00:38:32,960 I suppose the giant rats possessed by the devil in Act 3 is deep. All right, 607 00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:33,960 knock it off. 608 00:38:34,720 --> 00:38:37,720 I don't have to stand here and take criticism from an actress. 609 00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:45,380 Are you really going to have to explain that one? 610 00:38:45,700 --> 00:38:48,460 No problem. I mean, you act, you interpret, right? 611 00:38:48,680 --> 00:38:50,500 I create. Do you see the difference there? 612 00:38:50,720 --> 00:38:53,520 A creator takes a blank page and winds up with art. 613 00:38:53,920 --> 00:38:56,360 What do you think acting is, huh? Chopped liver? 614 00:38:56,940 --> 00:39:00,280 Acting is showing up for rehearsals on time. Acting is doing what the director 615 00:39:00,280 --> 00:39:01,480 tells you to do. 616 00:39:02,380 --> 00:39:06,900 If you have so little respect for what I do, how come you're wasting so much 617 00:39:06,900 --> 00:39:07,900 time with me? 618 00:39:08,220 --> 00:39:09,220 Honestly? 619 00:39:09,860 --> 00:39:12,700 Yeah. Take a look at yourself in the mirror. 620 00:39:13,330 --> 00:39:14,710 You're sexually appealing. 621 00:39:21,090 --> 00:39:22,090 Truth hurts. 622 00:39:27,330 --> 00:39:29,170 You just can't be honest with people. 623 00:39:34,890 --> 00:39:39,070 So, where are the girls? Will you relax? I'm not relaxed. I'm relaxed. You're 624 00:39:39,070 --> 00:39:41,450 the one who should be nervous. I'm holding you personally responsible for 625 00:39:41,450 --> 00:39:42,670 This is on me, all right? 626 00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:45,000 Huh? For general admission, please. 627 00:39:45,260 --> 00:39:47,180 You are acting crazy. 628 00:39:47,380 --> 00:39:48,900 I mean, this girl is a prize. 629 00:39:49,220 --> 00:39:50,220 Come on. 630 00:39:50,620 --> 00:39:51,620 Just relax. 631 00:39:52,200 --> 00:39:53,860 Hey, there they are. Huh? 632 00:39:54,500 --> 00:39:55,680 Yours is the one on the left. 633 00:39:57,500 --> 00:40:01,160 Did you say on the left? On the left, yes. 634 00:40:01,720 --> 00:40:02,780 Mine is on the right. 635 00:40:15,050 --> 00:40:16,630 Uh, this is David. 636 00:40:17,070 --> 00:40:18,530 And this is Merritt. 637 00:40:19,310 --> 00:40:20,310 Hi. 638 00:40:20,930 --> 00:40:21,930 Hi. 639 00:40:22,730 --> 00:40:25,230 Look at this. They can't take their eyes off each other. 640 00:40:25,470 --> 00:40:27,370 And who says blind dates don't work out, huh? 641 00:40:27,590 --> 00:40:28,970 You can thank me later. 642 00:40:33,470 --> 00:40:34,810 Haven't we met somewhere before? 643 00:40:35,950 --> 00:40:37,630 You do look awfully familiar. 644 00:40:38,150 --> 00:40:39,150 You too. 645 00:40:39,370 --> 00:40:41,290 Perhaps it was Portofino, 1957. 646 00:40:42,900 --> 00:40:45,080 No, no, no, I think Acapulco, 1962. 647 00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:49,800 Michael. 648 00:40:54,980 --> 00:40:57,560 Michael, I have something on my mind. Please, you can wait till the 649 00:41:02,860 --> 00:41:03,860 What are you doing? 650 00:41:04,340 --> 00:41:05,900 I'm turning off the TV set. 651 00:41:06,520 --> 00:41:10,260 Michael, I feel that our joint outlook is a little too limited and I would like 652 00:41:10,260 --> 00:41:11,680 to expand our horizons. 653 00:41:12,030 --> 00:41:15,230 In other words, I would like to spend an entire evening just talking. 654 00:41:19,790 --> 00:41:20,790 You're stuck, aren't you? 655 00:41:22,510 --> 00:41:24,910 It's Saturday, and the stock exchange was closed today. 656 00:41:25,890 --> 00:41:28,250 Yeah, well, you're making me a little self -conscious, you know what I mean? 657 00:41:28,250 --> 00:41:31,050 Like, right out of the blue, you say to a guy, you want to, uh, talk. 658 00:41:31,950 --> 00:41:33,470 You took me off guard. 659 00:41:34,910 --> 00:41:35,910 Off guard? 660 00:41:36,510 --> 00:41:37,348 Uh -huh. 661 00:41:37,350 --> 00:41:38,350 You're stuck. 662 00:41:38,930 --> 00:41:40,090 You know, that's too bad, Michael. 663 00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:43,660 Because you're the nicest, most intelligent, mature man I've ever met. 664 00:41:43,960 --> 00:41:44,960 So what's wrong? 665 00:41:45,460 --> 00:41:47,060 You're also the most boring. 666 00:41:49,140 --> 00:41:50,380 I think you know your way out. 667 00:41:52,220 --> 00:41:53,220 See you around. 668 00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:09,900 Oh, Doc, hi. Hi, is Nancy home? 669 00:42:10,110 --> 00:42:11,530 Uh, yeah. Come on in. 670 00:42:11,830 --> 00:42:15,470 I think she's upstairs in her room keeping holy the Sabbath. 671 00:42:17,050 --> 00:42:18,050 I'll go get her. 672 00:42:18,490 --> 00:42:19,490 Hey, Nancy! 673 00:42:23,270 --> 00:42:25,950 You think I'm boring? 674 00:42:26,190 --> 00:42:27,870 Would you like my professional opinion? 675 00:42:28,610 --> 00:42:29,610 Yes. 676 00:42:42,970 --> 00:42:44,430 Finance. I heard from Stanford. 677 00:42:45,010 --> 00:42:47,390 They approved my grant. I start next week. 678 00:42:47,650 --> 00:42:49,310 All right, Howard. That's wonderful. 679 00:42:49,910 --> 00:42:51,450 Oh, I'm so happy for you. 680 00:42:52,470 --> 00:42:55,550 San Francisco's pretty nice in the springtime. It's wonderful. Fantastic. 681 00:42:55,950 --> 00:42:57,370 You're going to have to come up and visit sometime. 682 00:42:58,350 --> 00:42:59,069 Visit you? 683 00:42:59,070 --> 00:43:01,590 Well, sure. You're not going to write me off just because I'm a few hours away, 684 00:43:01,690 --> 00:43:02,690 are you? 685 00:43:03,730 --> 00:43:04,730 Write you off? 686 00:43:06,050 --> 00:43:07,050 Howard, 687 00:43:07,150 --> 00:43:08,350 I thought I was going to go with you. 688 00:43:09,650 --> 00:43:12,050 Didn't you say that our happiness was in our future together? 689 00:43:14,480 --> 00:43:16,700 Nancy, my immediate future is for me. 690 00:43:18,080 --> 00:43:19,080 Alone. 691 00:43:19,320 --> 00:43:21,500 You know, the workload, the tension. 692 00:43:22,980 --> 00:43:25,920 I can't expect someone else to carry that burden with me. 693 00:43:27,160 --> 00:43:28,220 And I don't get a choice? 694 00:43:30,580 --> 00:43:32,460 Maybe you just don't want me hanging around you, Howard. 695 00:43:32,700 --> 00:43:33,780 Now, you know that's not true. 696 00:43:34,100 --> 00:43:35,500 No, I don't know that's not true. 697 00:43:38,680 --> 00:43:41,600 Have you ever once taken the time to find out what's important to me? 698 00:43:42,090 --> 00:43:44,010 You know, you didn't even thank me for the other night. 699 00:43:45,230 --> 00:43:46,250 What other night? 700 00:43:46,510 --> 00:43:49,110 The chopped liver, the Jewish bread, the kosher wine. 701 00:43:50,550 --> 00:43:54,170 You know, all this time, Howard, I was preparing to convert to Judaism for you. 702 00:43:54,670 --> 00:43:57,450 Well, for us. And you didn't even have the decency to... Hold it. 703 00:43:57,790 --> 00:43:58,950 Wait a minute, Nancy. 704 00:43:59,870 --> 00:44:02,010 I never said I was Jewish. 705 00:44:02,390 --> 00:44:06,150 Oh, I'm not a complete idiot, Howard. I mean, I can figure some things out for 706 00:44:06,150 --> 00:44:09,790 myself. Your name is Stein, isn't it? Yes, but it's German. 707 00:44:11,020 --> 00:44:12,020 I'm not Jewish. 708 00:44:14,440 --> 00:44:15,440 Oh, boy. 709 00:44:18,580 --> 00:44:19,860 I am a complete idiot. 710 00:44:21,260 --> 00:44:22,260 No, you're not. 711 00:44:23,220 --> 00:44:24,600 Look, this has happened to me before. 712 00:44:25,900 --> 00:44:31,400 But if you had any doubts about me, any questions, you should have come to me 713 00:44:31,400 --> 00:44:32,279 and asked me. 714 00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:33,400 I would have told you. 715 00:44:35,080 --> 00:44:36,080 But with... 716 00:44:36,330 --> 00:44:40,610 Religion aside, I still think that it's the wrong time in my life for you and 717 00:44:40,610 --> 00:44:41,529 me. 718 00:44:41,530 --> 00:44:42,530 Maybe later. 719 00:44:42,890 --> 00:44:43,890 I'd like that. 720 00:44:46,490 --> 00:44:47,490 Maybe. 721 00:44:48,450 --> 00:44:50,730 That is, if the invitation's still open. 722 00:44:52,490 --> 00:44:53,710 It certainly is. 723 00:45:05,260 --> 00:45:06,800 Why are you staring at Rover? 724 00:45:07,240 --> 00:45:09,180 Oh, read this. 725 00:45:09,460 --> 00:45:10,460 What? 726 00:45:11,660 --> 00:45:12,820 Cannabis sativa? 727 00:45:14,080 --> 00:45:15,640 Nicholas has been growing marijuana. 728 00:45:16,080 --> 00:45:17,080 Where? 729 00:45:18,460 --> 00:45:20,700 From the ever -loving Kenny P. Landers. 730 00:45:21,220 --> 00:45:24,500 I tell you, that kid and his family have been nothing but trouble. 731 00:45:24,780 --> 00:45:25,780 So what are you going to do? 732 00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:27,000 I don't know. 733 00:45:27,400 --> 00:45:28,920 Such a cute little thing. 734 00:45:29,520 --> 00:45:31,300 Oh, really, look at the cute little leaves. 735 00:45:33,140 --> 00:45:35,860 Stop laughing. You're laughing and I have to put Rover to sleep. 736 00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:38,360 I'm sorry. 737 00:45:40,420 --> 00:45:41,620 Don't look at me that way. 738 00:45:46,540 --> 00:45:48,040 I'm sorry it didn't work out, Nancy. 739 00:45:48,700 --> 00:45:50,180 Yeah, so am I. 740 00:45:51,560 --> 00:45:52,660 Thank you for the books. 741 00:45:54,180 --> 00:45:55,180 Rabbi? 742 00:45:56,280 --> 00:45:58,980 I'm really not sure I want to turn my back on everything. 743 00:46:00,100 --> 00:46:02,100 What I mean is, Howard's leaving. 744 00:46:02,860 --> 00:46:04,300 It hasn't really changed everything. 745 00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:05,900 You mean you still want to convert? 746 00:46:07,260 --> 00:46:11,000 Well, this past weekend I read more of the Bible. 747 00:46:12,220 --> 00:46:13,500 And I really felt something. 748 00:46:14,300 --> 00:46:15,340 It was a good feeling. 749 00:46:15,940 --> 00:46:17,540 Sort of like a sense of purpose. 750 00:46:19,560 --> 00:46:23,300 I don't know. This is really hard for me to explain. Well, this is a strange 751 00:46:23,300 --> 00:46:24,300 turn of events. 752 00:46:25,100 --> 00:46:26,180 Nancy, let me ask you this. 753 00:46:26,580 --> 00:46:27,900 Have you always believed in God? 754 00:46:28,420 --> 00:46:30,620 Not assumed there was a God. I'm not saying that. 755 00:46:31,100 --> 00:46:34,180 but really believed in him and his love. 756 00:46:36,580 --> 00:46:39,460 Well, I never really thought about it until recently. 757 00:46:39,760 --> 00:46:40,760 You know what I think? 758 00:46:40,880 --> 00:46:42,520 I think maybe you've discovered God. 759 00:46:43,360 --> 00:46:44,880 By accident, perhaps. 760 00:46:45,640 --> 00:46:47,440 But I prefer to think it was by design. 761 00:46:48,140 --> 00:46:49,340 Call it God's will. 762 00:46:50,040 --> 00:46:51,040 I don't understand. 763 00:46:51,900 --> 00:46:53,560 It's the Lord you've discovered, Nancy. 764 00:46:53,840 --> 00:46:54,840 Not Judaism. 765 00:46:55,460 --> 00:46:56,900 We may have helped out a little bit. 766 00:46:57,800 --> 00:46:59,260 And we've got a saying around here. 767 00:46:59,660 --> 00:47:03,240 He who enters with a closed soul may leave with an open heart. 768 00:47:08,220 --> 00:47:09,220 Thank you. 769 00:47:10,500 --> 00:47:11,500 Mazel tov. 770 00:47:12,360 --> 00:47:13,360 Excuse me? 771 00:47:13,640 --> 00:47:14,640 Good luck. 772 00:47:15,320 --> 00:47:17,740 Boy, am I glad this vacation's almost over. 773 00:47:18,120 --> 00:47:19,860 We'll be fanged out when you're sitting in class. 774 00:47:20,900 --> 00:47:26,240 I say we take a vow never to fall in love again. Yeah, until spring vacation. 775 00:47:27,200 --> 00:47:28,360 Seven days in May. 776 00:47:29,440 --> 00:47:31,020 Hey, you guys, quiet. I finally got through. 777 00:47:31,380 --> 00:47:35,860 Hello? Yeah, the name of the tune is I Crashed My Heart on the Highway of Your 778 00:47:35,860 --> 00:47:37,440 Love. It is? 779 00:47:37,840 --> 00:47:38,678 I did? 780 00:47:38,680 --> 00:47:39,720 Hey, everybody, I won! 781 00:47:39,940 --> 00:47:41,040 Hey, Tommy! 782 00:47:41,420 --> 00:47:47,020 I won, I got through. Yeah, this is Tommy Bradford. When can I... What? 783 00:47:49,140 --> 00:47:50,140 Yeah. 784 00:47:51,680 --> 00:47:52,680 Congratulations. 785 00:47:53,020 --> 00:47:54,020 Yeah, for what? 786 00:47:54,140 --> 00:47:55,140 For winning. 787 00:47:56,820 --> 00:47:58,760 Hey, why the long face? 788 00:47:59,260 --> 00:48:03,800 They ran out of tickets to the concert about an hour ago. I won two KRLJ t 789 00:48:03,800 --> 00:48:04,800 -shirts. 790 00:48:07,060 --> 00:48:11,020 I hope they have Linda Irons' size. 791 00:48:18,120 --> 00:48:20,700 Well, Rover, it's time to say goodbye now. 792 00:48:21,210 --> 00:48:22,250 I don't understand why. 793 00:48:22,490 --> 00:48:27,290 When Dad was trying to explain, he started a lot of sentences but didn't 794 00:48:27,290 --> 00:48:30,870 them. Mary says you're, uh, um... Victim of society? 795 00:48:31,350 --> 00:48:34,850 Yeah, I don't know what that means, but I hope it makes you feel better. 796 00:48:37,150 --> 00:48:41,210 Dad. What? What is it? You know how I despise violence of any kind. 797 00:48:41,510 --> 00:48:42,510 Yes, so what? 798 00:48:43,010 --> 00:48:44,810 I'd be more than willing to adopt Rover. 799 00:48:46,230 --> 00:48:47,890 Cute. Very cute. 800 00:48:50,150 --> 00:48:51,910 Maybe you could try it with your eyes closed. 801 00:48:52,150 --> 00:48:53,290 Hmm? Your eyes closed. 802 00:48:57,470 --> 00:49:01,210 Ah, take it away. I can't stand unpleasantries. 803 00:49:02,070 --> 00:49:04,690 It's okay, Dad. You did what you had to do. 804 00:49:04,910 --> 00:49:08,470 There's some good plants, and there's some bad plants, and there's some 805 00:49:08,470 --> 00:49:09,470 plants. 806 00:49:09,750 --> 00:49:10,750 Thanks, Nicholas. 807 00:49:10,990 --> 00:49:11,990 Dad, 808 00:49:12,210 --> 00:49:13,470 can I have a dog now? 809 00:49:17,050 --> 00:49:18,050 Hi, 810 00:49:19,130 --> 00:49:20,130 Dad.